Adventures of Andrea

I hate New Year's Resolutions. There, I said it. I think they're dumb, and I don't make them for myself. Now, that's not to say that I think that your specific resolution is dumb, there just has to be a specific process around it.

Most people say, okay I want to lose weight. And that's awesome. So they buy a gym membership and start going in January. And maybe they keep if up for the month, but slowly the motivation fades away, and by March, you're probably in the exact same spot you were the year before.

I am a person who makes a lot of goals for myself. Weekly goals, daily goals, monthly goals. And I know everyone isn't like that, but if you want to make a resolution for the whole year, you have to make goals.

If you walk in the gym January 1st, and you say all I want to do is lose weight. And day in and day out you just hop on the treadmill or elliptical, I promise you you will get bored quickly.

I'm all for goals, but don't let your resolution consume you and make you feel guilty. If you do want to lose weight, start off slow, and don't forget to change things up. Maybe in January you can say, I don't want to eat fast food more than once a week. A slow change will prepare your body for the year to come, and you still get that sense of satisfaction for keeping up your resolution.

If you start off 2017 by saying that you want to say yes more, make monthly goals for yourself! Casting a blind 'yes' resolution over your whole life sounds awful! You still need to take care of yourself, you can't go around saying yes to every outing or experience. You'd be exhausted, and most likely broke.

So on a personal note, I'll share some of my monthly goals with you to show that I'm not just all talk. For January, I really want to try a new fitness class. I'm a person that likes structure with my fitness. It's hard for me to just go to the gym and design a workout schedule for myself. I like classes, and my body feels better when it knows exactly what it will have to do.

This month, I also made it a goal to see my friends at least once. Time goes by fast, and I don't want to end the month without having hung out with them!

On a creative note, I want to blog at least four times this month, and start the year out on a strong note.

So I may not have a huge resolution to focus on, but I think it's healthier to focus on smaller goals. I still have an overall goal of keeping my body and mind healthy by working out and seeing friends, and also expanding on my creative goals by writing!

Of course, I'm not saying my way is the best way, but try it out and let me know!

P.S. I know this was more of a ramble-style post, but I hope you enjoyed it just the same.

You know the posts where people reflect on they've learned in their XX amount of years on this planet. Well, in honor of my half birthday (23 and a half...how...), I've decided to join the trend and give you some pieces of advice/things that I've learned.


1. Your first job probably won't be perfect.

At least, mine wasn't. There's definitely a fantasy when you leave school of working in a perfect Google-type, amazing, relaxing office. And sure, some people have that, but most do not. You might not like your boss, you might not like your salary, you may not have some of the perks you really thought you would. It's okay. It's your first job, and there are lots more out there.

2. Take a deep breath.

Sounds pretty basic, right? I'm a pretty excitable, anxious person, and I can get wound up easily sometimes. There are so many moments where I remind myself to stop, breathe and then continue on with whatever I was doing or thinking. That deep breath can really serve as a moment of clarity.

3. Life is scary.

The faster you realize this, the better. But life can also be wonderful, exciting and terrifying. You are going to have bad times, and they will suck, but you're also going to have some amazing times that will make the crazy ride worth it.

4. Say yes.

I always used to hate this piece of advice. As an anxious person, this freaks me out. I don't want to say yes to everything. But the message behind this piece of advice is just to think about your answer before you say no. Maybe you will find or do something you really enjoy.

5. Sometimes you won't be the smartest in the room.

For a high achiever like me, this isn't a good feeling. I hate feeling ignorant or stupid. But sometimes other people have things to say that you might not know. Listen. It will make you all the better for it.

6. Try to ignore the pressure from society.

I talked about this a bit in my last post (go check it out! :)) I feel like my generation is the first in a long time to feel a lot of pressure to always feel creative, to have an amazing, perfect job, to travel the world, and have the cutest, coziest apartment. It's exhausting. I know it's hard, but try to ignore the expectations. If you don't want to travel, that's your decision. If you like your cubicle office job, then who cares?! I'm so tired of this pressure to live this perfect life in your 20s, it's just not realistic.

7. Don't sweat the small stuff.

My mom always tells me that if it's something I won't remember a month from now, or even a year from now. It's a good piece of advice that I use all the time. Sometimes it's hard to let go of anger, but it's really for the best.

8. Text your friends. 

This is especially true when you leave school. Your friends are readily available to you anymore, everyone has their own jobs, their own significant others and their own lives. It's up to you to keep in touch and make plans. You don't go to the same school anymore, so you won't see them. It's a tough transition, but the friends who you truly care about will stick by you.

9. Speak up.

You are the only who knows how you feel. If someone says something that hurt you, tell them. Maybe they didn't even realize it. Or maybe they did, and then they're just an asshole. Your friends are psychic, they aren't going to know every thought running through your head, and if someone did something that upset you, it's best to let them know.

10. Find something you enjoy.

I don't care what it is. Maybe it's blogging, writing, candle making, reading, yoga, running, anything under the sun. But find something. Find something that makes you happy, find something that you're passionate about. Life is too short to just worry about your job, your next paycheck...all that adult type stuff. You have to have your own hobbies and interests too.

11. College is awesome, but it's not everything.

I know so many people who, when we were in high school, were obsessed with finding the best college and everything they were going to do and join when they were there. For those of you who might not have gone through the process, yes, college is awesome. There's freedom, choices and lots of things to do. But where you go to college, and even what your major is, is not the only important thing in life. When you enter the workforce, you will learn that there are people who went to a great school and are terrible at their jobs, and there will be people who went to a school with a bad reputation, and they are awesome. It doesn't matter.

12. You will probably make a couple huge mistakes.

It might be during school, it might be money-wise, relationship-wise, or maybe you screwed up a project at work. It might feel like the end of the world, but it's not. Actually, that huge mistake might give you some courage because now you messed up and you know the world didn't end. The sun will still rise the next morning, and you will be a little smarter.

13. Don't keep negative people in your life.

It's not worth it. The people around you to affect you, and if someone is constantly negative, chances are you're going to be like that too.

14. Don't make everything about finding 'the one'.

This one is similar to number 11. You can't be obsessed with finding a relationship, finding a boyfriend or girlfriend and running off happily into the sunset together. It just doesn't happen that way. When you do find someone (and you will!) it will most likely be when you aren't looking for it at all. Life is funny that way.

15. Budget.

I know this sounds kind of silly. But the first few years out of college are crucial for budgeting purposes. Suddenly, you have money. And for some people, they might have a substantial amount of it. We all go through that phase when we get our first jobs and go kind of buy-crazy. Get past that, and make a budget and stick to it. You'll thank me later.

16. Respect other people.

I don't care what race, sexual orientation, ethnicity or gender they are. We all deserve respect. The end.

17. Keep learning.

Just because you're no longer a student, that's not an excuse to stop learning. Go to a community college, find a language course online, do something. Education should never end, and there is always more to learn.

18. Take your time with the big decisions.

I learned my lesson with this one recently. When you get out of college or maybe before, there is kind of a voice of what's next. Breathe. It's okay. Everyone feels this way. Before you accept a job you don't really like, or before you decide to go back to grad school, just pause. We're young. You have plenty of time for decisions (you really always do, throughout any point in your life).

19. Treat yourself.

I know this might seem like it goes against my budgeting tip, but it doesn't. Your mental health is so, so important. Set aside some time for yourself each week to do a face mask, take a bath, read a book, do something. Do something that is solely for you.

20. Be kind.

A hard one to follow. Everyone is struggling. Everyone has something they are going through. I'm not saying you have to always be this calm, zen person all the time, but a little kindness goes a long way. You complimenting someone, helping someone out, it might be the highlight of their whole day.

21. Time management is key.

The world of adulting is a stressful one. For the first time in your life, you're paying bills, possibly renting or buying a house, maybe taking care of a pet. There is going to be a lot thrown at you at once. Manage your time. Netflix is amazing, I know, but you should probably make sure you paid the Internet and walked the dog first.

22. Not everyone is going to like you.

Again, this one is a hard one for me. But some people, they just won't like you. If you were like me and grew up in a small-ish town, where everyone got along (for the most part), this will be an uncomfortable feeling. But when you get to college or the workforce, you will probably stumble upon someone who just doesn't mesh with you. It's okay. Move on.

23. The only one who is responsible for your happiness is you.
Your friends, your parents, your significant other are all going to want to see you happy, but you are the only one who can make that happen.

1/2. Here it is the most important piece of advice that I could possibly give...Ready? You should NEVER, ever, ever, ever --


;) There's half a piece of advice for you.

Sometimes the words get stuck. And sometimes it's so unbelievably easy to make them flow.

I write for a living. Not as an author, mind you, although maybe someday. As a journalist, sometimes (sadly) you don't have time for creativity. Creativity gets shoved under the bus, because deadlines need to happen.

There have been some positives and negatives about this for me. Some positives: I've learned how to write in every mood. Bored, sick, tired, sad, angry, happy, excited, you name it. Because writing is my job, and such a deadline-oriented one at that, I had to learn how to write through any possible mood.

Some negatives: this wears me out. I love writing. I wouldn't have chosen it as my career if I didn't. But sometimes, at the end of a week writing articles, or researching articles, there's just no room left in my brain for creative writing.



Sometimes I have ideas hit me, and I scramble for my laptop, my phone or a piece of paper. This happened to me, for the first time, in a while I had a story idea. I was so excited about this, I started writing notes on my phone, even though I was in the middle of a work event. (Oops!)

I wanted to talk about this process, because I know that so many people struggle with not feeling creative enough. In our millennial generation, creativity is key. What can you create? What can you write, draw, sing, paint, fill in the medium of your choice here... It's not a bad thing, but it does put pressure on all of us, but we feel the need to be creative all the time, and that's just not possible.

Now, all of this ties into NaNoWriMo. Don't worry, I didn't forget the title of the post.

NaNoWriMo, for those who don't know, stands for National Novel Writing Month, and it takes place next month in November. The goal of NaNoWriMo is to write 50,000 words in one month. A novel. In one month.

The reason this all ties together for me is because NaNoWriMo forces you to shove creativity aside, in a way. The goal, as I understand it, is just to write. There is no editing or rewriting that takes place during this month, that can come later. All this month is about is getting those words down on the paper.

Now I've done NaNoWriMo once before (and wrote a novel that will never, ever see the light of day) and it was good for me. Not easy, but good. It forced me to get out of my own head space, it forced me to stop feeling like I had to write the perfect creatively creative thing. It forced me to just write.

That's why, I'm going to do it again this year. I need to get out of my own way, and just write. We don't have to strive for perfection in our creativity, we just have to create. :)

I love the format of Nicole's monthly wrap-up posts, but I thought I would do mine in a direction of talking about the month ahead, instead of talking about the past month. (Also, go check out Nicole's blog, for real, she's my favorite.)

I love that I've been in such a writing mood lately, and I hope you guys are enjoying more frequent posts from me! I think part of the switch has been because of the change in seasons and temperature that has been happening! The last few days have really felt like fall, so it feels right that it's October now!

Reading: I just bought Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo and Empire of Storms by Sarah J. Maas. These are both books in series that I really love and have been looking forward to for a long time. I can't wait to start these this month, and you'll probably see a review post from me too. :)

What I'm Doing: On October 15, I'm participating in the Out of Darkness walk for the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention. While I don't know anyone who has committed suicide, suicide has impacted several people who I dearly love, so I am going to try to honor them and those they lost during this day!

Since it's October, this also means lots and lots of fall and Halloween activities. I know that I'm going to a haunted forest next weekend, which I am so excited for, and also planning lots of pumpkin farm visits. (When you've got little kids in the family, it's a guarantee you will go to a pumpkin farm.)

I think the other thing for October that may be happening is a possible Six Flags visit as well as a yoga event...if Nicole and I get our asses in gear and actually buy tickets!

Watching: The newest season of New Girl just got put on Netflix so I'm sure that I will finish that this month. I also would like to catch up on Jane the Virgin. Not too many TV plans this month, except I do have to remember to watch the Hamilton documentary at the end of the month. (Mostly because I'm going to see it this summer!!!)

I think that's about it for October...I'm excited for this month. October is probably one of my favorite months of the year, and I'm looking forward to it.

So the last few days have made me excited for summer to actually end! Summer is probably my favorite season, so I don't say that lightly, but I am ready for all the fall has to bring me. :)

These last few days have definitely been cooler where I live and it's just reminded me of all the things I like to do in the fall...so I thought I'd share some here with you!


Pumpkin Patches. 

I have several little nieces and nephews and so fall means pumpkin patches. And lots of them. I probably go to the pumpkin patch about seven times each fall. You could say I'm an expert.

Haunted Houses.

My boyfriend was just arguing with me about my love of haunted houses, because he thinks that if I don't like scary movies and shows then I shouldn't like haunted houses. But haunted houses are just fun. I usually try to hit up a couple each year, and I definitely like going in bigger groups, it's just more fun that way.

Bike Rides.

I always love to ride my bike, but the fall makes it special somehow. There's just so much to look at, and if the weather is nice, then it really can be a perfect time.

Snuggling!

A cup of tea or hot chocolate, a movie, some popcorn, a warm, fuzzy blanket, and someone to share it with. There's nothing better.

I am a girl who loves a good lazy day. Growing up, with so many siblings and so many different events to attend, I didn't often have time for a lazy day. Now, being an adult, I try to enjoy them as much as I can when they come along.

I was in the city for a bachelorette party yesterday, and between the walking and hitting up clubs, I was exhausted today and so I had a bit of a lazy day and relaxed. It had me thinking about the importance of having lazy days, or pamper days as some people like to call them.

I see nothing wrong with having these pamper days at least once a week. Even if it's something as simple as taking a bath, try to treat yourself with something.

I feel like so often we feel guilty for not working, or not writing, or not exercising, or not seeing friends or family, or whatever obligations you may have, that we forget that it's actually okay to take a time out for yourself and just relax.

I've seen a lot of bloggers recommend different techniques for a pamper day, and I know some people even try to make every Sunday into a sort of pamper day. I think this is great because Sunday can sometimes be a bit of a bummer of a day. You've got the work week to look forward to and the magic of the weekend is starting to wear off. It's nice to extend it by treating yourself to a little something on Sunday, or Sunday evening if you don't have the time.

• Drink tea. Or if you're not a tea drinker, drink some coffee. Or an ice cold glass of water. Drink your beverage of choice and just sit. No phone, no book, just sit. Sit outside if you can, but if weather isn't great, try to pick a sunny spot in your house. Feeling the warmth and just thinking your thoughts can be enough of a break on its own. 
• Read a book. Being the avid reader I am, no relaxation time is complete without a book. I know some people aren't readers, so pick some reruns to watch and laugh at. My favorite go-to is The Office. 
• Do a face mask. I don't care if you're a boy or a girl, skin care is important. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, I know Ulta and Target sell face masks for 4 or 5 dollars. If you want to consolidate time, wear your face mask while reading your book or watching your show. Just do something to treat your body to a little love! 

While I was at yoga today, I was having trouble stretching into a certain position, and I thought how everyone around me was probably having no problems getting into position.

While I was thinking about how much I suck at yoga, I realized there are probably a few stretches that I may be better at that than some of the people in the class. It all depends on perspective.

I guess yoga made me reflective, because then I thought about how our society is driven by competition. Who can earn the most money? Who has the fanciest car? Who has the nicest clothes? Who's the most attractive?

We're constantly comparing ourselves to others without realizing our own potential for other things. I may not be the best yogi, but I may be the best at other things.

I'm the best daughter to my mother, I'm the best sibling to my brothers and sister. I'm the best aunt to my nieces and nephew. I'm the best girlfriend to my boyfriend. I'm the best at all those things, simply because of who I am.

I think when we are constantly comparing ourselves to other people, we forget about the details of our own lives, and the specifics, the relationships we have with other people that shape the lives of those around us.

I may not be good at some things, but I know I'm the best at being me.

So the next time you're struggling to do the splits during yoga class, or the next time you're comparing your career to your friends, focus on that the things that make you you. 

Also, even though this sounds like a sappy inspirational speech, I think it's something important we need to remember; and I think it's often forgotten in day-to-day life when we're constantly comparing ourselves to other people.

No one else can do the things I do, make the choices I make; and I think that's pretty special.

I'm the kind of person that wants to do everything now. 

The saying, take it a day at a time, is really hard for me. I look to the future a lot, even when I was a kid. I thought being a grown up looked so cool, and I had so many plans for the future.

I recently learned that I can't do everything now; sometimes it's just not possible. I think with being out of school and not having a set schedule has set me into kind of a tail spin. The thoughts and questions run through my head like crazy, and there's so many things I want to try. Should I go to grad school? What for? Would I like that? What if I don't? I want to travel. Where should I go? Can I plan a vacation for this amount of money? Do I like my job? How long will I stay there? Should I buy a house, apartment, townhouse, car?????

Needless to say, it can be a bit stressful. Something happened recently that made me step back and go okay. I can't do some things right at this moment. I can live in the moment,  I can make plans, but I can't do everything I want to do right this second. And that's okay. I'm young; I need to save some stuff for the rest of my life.

It's for my brain to shift into this thinking though. I really do have to repeat the phrase, take it one day at a time, to myself. There's so many things I want to do, but I need to learn that there's plenty of time to do them all, I just have to be patient. :)